I'm not gonna take it...

today i was driving in the car in the general direction of a submarine sandwich and i heard that song "i've seen better days" and i thought, "ya know what matthewblakeatkinson? i don't know if i have seen better days"

i just feel like i'm floating through life...on top of the fucking world. i'm writing. i'm living. i really can't remember better times than the ones i've got going on right now. the conversations i'm having with people the feelings and stories and...man i've got it good.

i bought my delicious sandwich and the song that came on the radio on my way home was twisted sister. they weren't going to take it...anymore. and i realized those two songs went together. the very reason i'm currently enjoying the best days of my life is because i decided not to take it.

i couldn't take my religion and my marriage and my life pretending to be an accountant. when we're fake...when we're going through the motions...when we settle...we're essentially choosing to live life at a discount. but, man when we stand up. when we say we're not gonna take it...as hard and as scary as that might be...that's when we have a chance at really experiencing life. full life. not selling ourselves short, but putting our real selves out there for everyone to see.

i don't want my old church life where i had to put a certain face forward around some people and could only be real to my closest friends. i want everyone to see the real me. it's not that pretty. but, man learning and growing start with being unpretty. i'm just some dude. but, i'm real-er than i've ever been. and it feels pretty fucking great.

i mean come on, just telling you guys that i enjoy sandwiches. that's me being vulnerable. you're welcome. i promise to get even more revealing in future episodes. really though, i want to be fucking transparent to all. this is what i got. if you can relate, great. if you can't, cool. you might not like sandwiches yet, but you'll see better days...